there are a few errors in grammar, the first being on the prologue page. the third sentence isn't incorrect, just odd to read. "gold is the meaning of which house they are from" also is a bit off, maybe change it to something like "the gold signifies their house" or "the gold shows where they are from." the options to choose hair length and color are also off, mostly with "bald scalp" "braid" and maybe "mohawk." i'd suggest changing these to "lack of" "braided" and something like "mohawked" "spiked" or even just "styled" hair. this might be an error on my part, but i'm not sure what you mean by "lick-ing"? maybe "liking"? this is on the same page as the hair options. you should also change "go" to "going", and on the next page (if you choose the laughter option) you say "his brother" when i think you mean either "her brother" or "his sister." remove the comma in "living with them for a short time,".
otherwise, the colors look great and i love the story so far! keep up the great work :)
But about the joke, yes, it's intentional. Licking and liking sounds just, a little, alike, so he is making a mistake with his tongue when he's saying the name of the town {and a dirty joke, that too}, that's why he is using licking. It's a bad joke, I know, but that's the way he is.
Thanks for the comment, AND, of course, for your words of encouragement.
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Darn, quite short, but I really see this going somewhere, but for now, its short and sweet, and I shall wait until it be complete.
there are a few errors in grammar, the first being on the prologue page. the third sentence isn't incorrect, just odd to read. "gold is the meaning of which house they are from" also is a bit off, maybe change it to something like "the gold signifies their house" or "the gold shows where they are from." the options to choose hair length and color are also off, mostly with "bald scalp" "braid" and maybe "mohawk." i'd suggest changing these to "lack of" "braided" and something like "mohawked" "spiked" or even just "styled" hair. this might be an error on my part, but i'm not sure what you mean by "lick-ing"? maybe "liking"? this is on the same page as the hair options. you should also change "go" to "going", and on the next page (if you choose the laughter option) you say "his brother" when i think you mean either "her brother" or "his sister." remove the comma in "living with them for a short time,".
otherwise, the colors look great and i love the story so far! keep up the great work :)
I will try to change it immediately.
But about the joke, yes, it's intentional. Licking and liking sounds just, a little, alike, so he is making a mistake with his tongue when he's saying the name of the town {and a dirty joke, that too}, that's why he is using licking. It's a bad joke, I know, but that's the way he is.
Thanks for the comment, AND, of course, for your words of encouragement.Have a nice day.
It really seems interesting although the grammatical errors made it hard to read but other than that it's great
Thanks you so much!
Then I have to correct that. I it's not much trouble. Can you point me where I make mistakes?
And sorry for hurt your eyes with my grammatical errors ... I`ll try to get better at my English.